Goodness and Grace

 Many of you are aware of the struggles and trials our family has gone through the past few weeks with O’Neal’s sister Stacy’s  illness. While it’s true these have been physically, emotionally, and mentally difficult days, it’s even more true that God has been at work during every single minute. I am excited to share just one of the examples of how God has been so good and gracious during this journey. On January 10^th we were told by the doctors that Stacy only had about 24 hours to live (thankfully they were wrong and she's still with us!). Just six days from then O’Neal and I were scheduled to find out the gender of our baby. Stacy was so excited to know if she would have a niece or nephew and we didn't even want to think about the possibility that she might not be here to find out.  That night I asked a nurse if it would be possible to get an ultrasound done in the hospital so we could tell Stacy the gender. I figured it would be a long shot and there’d be lots of red tape and insurance issues. It seemed our time was short and I was concerned it would be difficult to work out; I prayed that God would somehow make it happen so we could tell Stacy this good news. The next morning my mother-in-law saw one of the doctors…and not the one we expected to see that day. She explained to Dr. Lowery the situation and asked what she could do for us. It turned out that Dr. Lowery’s husband does sonography for OB oncology and he happened to be working that day. (Although we know none of this was coincidence or happenstance, but God orchestrating the situation.)  Amazingly, within thirty minutes, Dr. Lowery’s husband was standing outside Stacy’s door with a resident who had swiped an ultrasound machine. Not only were they able to tell us the gender that day, but they were able to do the ultrasound in the room with Stacy where she could see for herself! It was one of the most special and amazing moments of our lives and we were all overwhelmed by the greatness of God. Not only did God answer our prayer, but He did so in ways greater than what we expected. I was simply hoping for an ultrasound somewhere in that hospital, never did I imagine we’d get a machine in the room so we could all share this together! We share this story as a testimony to the depth of the Father’s love for us and how He will lavish us with His goodness and grace, even in the darkest times. We truly serve a mighty and loving God! 

A New Perspective

O’Neal and I very recently took a seven day cruise around the Western Caribbean. We sailed on the largest cruise boat in the world. Seriously. It was Royal Caribbean’s Allure of the Seas. In addition to being the largest boat in the world, this particular one also boasts several “onlys” like being the only cruise boat to have a Zip line, a FlowRider , a carousel, and a rock climbing wall. It has over 24 restaurants, three theaters, an ice skating rink, mini golf, Central Park (modeled after the real deal in New York City), and a top notch spa and fitness center - just to name a few features. To say the least, anyone breathing would stand on this ship and be in awe. And we definitely were.

This cruise took us to three places in the Caribbean: Haiti, Jamaica, and Mexico. Before boarding the boat, I had expectations of visiting these beautiful places and being wowed, amazed, and in awe of the beautiful waters, pristine beaches, and gorgeous sights and scenes. And I definitely was. However, there was something that I saw and experienced that I never imagined I would on a vacation such as this: poverty. In Jamaica and Mexico we drove through towns that were dirty, run down, and falling apart. We passed houses that were not much more than a few sticks, some sheet metal, and a tarp. There were communities without running water and electricity. In Jamaica, people put large buckets on top of their houses to catch the rain water so they can cook, drink, wash clothes, etc. I think Haiti was the worst. It is known for being an impoverished, and even dangerous, country where people still live in mud huts without running water and electricity. It is truly a developing country. However, in each of these three cities, our tour guides, all natives of their respective countries, were sure to tell us how much they enjoy, appreciate, and rely on American tourists. In Haiti, our guide said the town of Labadee has almost doubled in size thanks to Royal Caribbean purchasing a portion of their land. People flocked to the town to get a better job and make a better life for their family. In the words of our guide, “Thanks to Royal Caribbean and tourists like you, we now having water, electricity, and internet in Labadee.” Talk about an eye-opener. Here we are, over 6,000 individuals from over 70 countries enjoying our several thousand dollar vacation and here are people just happy to have running water and the opportunity to make more money to provide for their families. That brought new meaning to the word “conflicted.” I spent half the time feeling like I was doing a good thing by purchasing their goods and services. But then I spent the other half feeling ashamed because I have so much and they have so little.

It was no different on the boat. Most of the 2,400 crew members of the Allure are from countries other than the US. They leave their families to travel around on the boat for seven months straight, with no days off in between, just so they can provide a better way of life for their spouses, children, and parents. Our waiter was from Trinidad and Tobago. One night he was asking us about what we thought of the boat. He gave us his opinion: it was so big and had so much that it was just plain ridiculous. Who in the world needs a boat with all this stuff? Isn’t just being able to enjoy the beautiful waters of the Caribbean with your friends and family while being able to experience other countries enough? While we were talking about the boat and all its impressive attributes, the word excessive came to mind. Oh, and all the while you’re cruising on this magnificent boat and visiting these beautiful countries, heaven forbid you lift a finger to do anything for yourself. (We determined that when your kid spills a drink on the floor and doesn’t clean it up because that’s what the staff is for, you’ve got problems.)

Don’t get me wrong. We had a marvelous time on our vacation. We loved everything we got to see and experience and we are so thankful that God gave us the opportunity to go on such a nice vacation. We are so grateful. It was a blessing to be able to spend so much time together and to get away from the pressures, obligations, and responsibilities of life. However, I came home feeling so thankful for what we have in America. I know our country isn’t perfect, but at least I have electricity, running water, and a solid roof over my head. At least my husband doesn’t have to leave our family for months on end just to make a better paycheck so we can survive.  I came back a little more relaxed, a little more rested, a little tanner, and a lot more aware of just how much I take my life and the things in it for granted. Who knew God could use a little vacation to teach me so much? 

A New Summer Means a New Beginning

As a teacher, I tend to measure years according to the school calendar. To me, the start of a new school year is more of a turning point or an opportunity for a new start than the beginning of a new calendar year. What’s so spectacular about looking at new beginnings this way is you have the whole entire summer to reflect upon the past year and to prepare for a fresh start in August.  This is a large part of why I’m so thankful for summer vacations. For teachers, these weeks consist of much needed days of rest, relaxation, and rejuvenation. It’s during this time that I tend to take a look back to the past year, inventory its events, and classify it as being a good year or a bad year. Looking back on this year, it is by far the hardest year I have ever had, both personally and professionally. However, if there’s one thing I have learned through all of it, it’s that God is faithful and He is so, so good. So, here's the story: 

The day of last year’s open house was the day our lives turned upside down. We had knowingly walked into a pretty significant change in our lives, fully believing this was where God was calling us. However, we had no idea just how much our lives would change and how difficult things would become. Long story short, we walked through the darkest and deepest valley for many weeks before the Lord delivered us from it. While it was the hardest thing we have ever had to face, we learned so much.  God was SO faithful to us, He was so good, and He provided in ways that could only be explained as God. While going through this time, we still felt (and do to this day) that God brought us there. Why He allowed us to experience such a difficult time we may never fully know, but God in His infinite wisdom had a perfect plan for us. During these months we grew as individuals, grew as believers, and grew as a husband and a wife. While tough times often rip married couples apart, this only strengthened our marriage as we clung more closely to the Lord and to each other every day.  

Although we have hit many other hurdles this year after that valley- surprise you have mono, unruly and challenging students, stresses and pressures at work, family illness, starting a new business, finishing a specialist degree, etc.- every obstacle pales in comparison to that time of trial. Maybe that’s why the Lord allowed us to go there. Now we certainly have a better perspective on difficulties in life and a deeper faith and a greater reliance on the Lord. Now that we are out of the valley, we can look back on it with a deeper understanding of who God is and who we are. While we don’t ever want to experience a trial like that again, we are thankful that we did, and wouldn’t trade the lessons we learned through it for anything.

I’m always in awe of how big God is, how much He cares for us, and just how faithful He is. When thinking about how God was with us then and how He’s with us now, I’m reminded of a song by Matt Redman called Never Once: Never once did we ever walk alone, Never once did You leave us on our own, You are faithful, God, You are faithful. Every step we are breathing in Your grace, Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise, You are faithful, God, You are faithful. This is where I want to be every day: depending on the Lord 100% for every breath, every step, and every moment of every day.

Sometimes my awe of the Lord just bubbles up inside me and it has to escape. At times, I want to climb a mountain top and proclaim His goodness and grace. No one may ever read this, but if anyone does, I pray that in this you see a testimony to the goodness and steadfastness of our Lord Jesus Christ. I leave you with this verse from Lamentations 3:22-24: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” I pray that we will never forget God’s goodness and his favor on our lives, that we will always remember that each day brings with it new mercies, that we will constantly be reminded of the great faithfulness of the Lord, and that our souls will patiently hope in the Lord for He will be our portion.