Apart from a brief twelve day stint at work in early August, I have been enjoying some very sweet days at home full time since the end of May. Anyone who knows me knows that my heart's desire is to be at home with my babies.
This past week was my first week at work after Darcy's birth. It was all you would expect: crazy, overwhelming, and exhausting. One of the things that makes me the saddest about not being home, is knowing that the chances of me missing many "firsts" within the first year are pretty high. With Cason I prayed about that a lot. And God is so very gracious that He allowed me to be present for all of Cason's first moments. From his first smiles to his first steps I was there. I can't even begin to tell you the gratitude I feel for being able to witness every one of those moments. I figured expecting that the second time around might be asking a bit much.
I've been trying really hard to be a big girl and not to complain, but this past week my heart was a bit heavy as the reality of what it means to be away from my babies all day hit me again. On Friday night, after a long and draining week, I was on the couch with Darcy and all of a sudden, she threw back her head and let out the most beautiful little laugh. Over and over again. Her first real belly laughs. It was music to my ears and nearly brought me to tears. It was like a kiss from Jesus, and a salve to this tired mama's soul.
I am so grateful I serve a God who knows me. Who sees me. And who gives me just what I need at the exact moment I need it.
