There seem to be a lot of blogs flooding my Facebook news
feed lately. These blogs are geared toward moms. Specifically moms who stay at
home. Well I’m a working mom and I know there are a lot of other working moms
out there, too. Whether it’s intentional or not, these blogs make me feel
inferior as a mom and like I’m doing something horribly wrong by working
outside the home. They make me feel like I don’t truly experience motherhood because
I don’t stay with my baby 24 hours a day 7 days a week. They seem to highlight all the things I am
missing. And trust me. I don’t need to be reminded of this because it weighs on
my mind all the time. Every day when I go to work I leave a huge piece of my
heart at home and I don’t get it back until I walk through that door every
afternoon and that sweet baby is in my arms. I would give anything to be the one
who gets to hold my baby when he naps during the day. Who gets to comfort him
when he cries. Hear his belly laughs all day long. Watch him do something new
for the first time. I hate being made to feel like I’m less of a mom because I
work outside the home. I hate being made to feel like I’m not fulfilling God’s
purpose for my life and like my life as a mom is not difficult, demanding, or
even important. And I hate being made to feel like I don’t trust God because I
don’t just throw my hands up in the air, quit my job and shout “God will
provide!” (That may have been where the Lord led you, but that is not where God
is leading my family.) Maybe all these feelings are justified. Or maybe they
are all fabricated in my head because my heart is at home and that’s not where
I get to be.
I was able to stay at home with Cason for sixteen weeks
after he was born. Sure it was difficult, exhausting, demanding, and so very
hard to accomplish anything that felt remotely productive throughout the day.
But now I’m back to work and for me, it is ten times harder. Physically.
Emotionally. Mentally. And even spiritually. I’m thankful I’m in the teaching
profession because I only work 190 days a year and get relatively long breaks
here and there to be home with him. I CHERISH those days. Cherish them so much
that sometimes I practically barricade the door and sit at home all day and
just hold my little boy. Just me and him. And when nothing gets done around the
house on those days I don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt. But oh I wish
those days could be my every day.
I always get nervous when I post a blog because I'm always afraid of offending someone unintentionally. Please know this is not a post
about which is harder- working or staying at home. They are both difficult and for very different reasons. But I know I can’t be the only one who struggles with these feelings and who is tired of being made to feel inferior.This is simply a blog post for working moms, because
we all need a little encouragement that’s written specifically for us. So here
goes…….
You are a great mom. You are doing what is necessary or what
is best for your family. You may be going to work because you have to. My heart
aches for you. Or you may be going to work because you choose to. And that’s
okay, you’re a great mom. But either way, you’re probably tired. What you’re
doing is hard. Your baby might not sleep through the night, so neither do you.
Then you get up and go to work for eight hours, ten hours, twelve hours. You
don’t get to go back to sleep after that early morning feeding. You don’t get
to nap when your baby naps. You spend all day at work under the demands and
pressures that are placed on you there. And you’re exhausted. Then you come
home. There’s a baby (or babies) who have missed you and who want your
attention. They want your time, your kisses and snuggles. They need to be fed.
Bathed. Read to. Played with. You have a husband who needs your attention, too,
because after all, before you were a mommy, you were a wife. And you have a
house- a house that needs to be cleaned. You have groceries that need to be
bought. Laundry that needs to be washed, folded, and put away. Dinner that
needs to be cooked. Lunches that need to be made. And all the while you’re
exhausted. But you keep on doing it with a smile on your face (most of the
time) because you are an awesome mom and because you love your family so much
it hurts. And because you want to do the most you can for your family to the
best of your ability and you pour everything you have into working hard both
inside and outside of the home. You are
trying to be all things for all the different people in your life- wife, mom,
daughter, sister, friend, employee, etc. And that is so very hard sometimes. And
you might not have time to fix healthy, completely organic meals made from
scratch because you’d rather sit and rock your baby after that long, exhausting
day you just had. That’s okay. You might not have time to do those awesome
crafts you pinned the other day because you’d rather read a book or snuggle on
the couch. And that’s okay. Your house might not be spotless because you’d
rather spend time playing on the floor with your kids. And that’s okay. Or you
could be like me and when you actually get to wash the clothes they sit on a
chair until you wear them and they are dirty again. And you know what? That’s okay.
Give yourself a break. Let go of that pressure you feel to “measure up” to
those other women who have an extra eight, ten, or twelve hours a day at home. Know
that for you the most important thing is time. Time spent with your husband.
Time spent with your kids. One of the many things I have learned in my eight
short months of being a mom- time goes by way too fast. Read all the books you
can. Give all the hugs and snuggles you can. Spend as much time as you can
sitting, rocking, snuggling, kissing, singing, reading, and smelling that sweet
baby’s head because that baby will not be little forever. When your kids are
grown then you can have the perfectly kept house, the laundry that is always
folded, the to-do list that actually gets accomplished, and the meals that are
organic and made from scratch. In the meantime, take a deep breath, extend yourself
some grace and realize that what you are doing is difficult, amazing, and
selfless all at once. And you’re amazing at being a working mom and juggling it
all. You truly are superwoman. What you are doing matters. And no you can’t do
all. But guess what? No one can.
And if you’re in a position where you can be a stay at home
mom and you’re still reading, please do me a favor: If you have friends who are
working moms, please encourage them. Please tell them how awesome they are and
how wonderful it is that they are working so hard to take care of their family. And most of
all- please pray for them. For grace, strength, energy, wisdom, and patience. Because
working moms need all these things, too.
