God's Grace is Sufficient

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 ~

Since I have become a mommy, this verse has become my mantra. Being a mom is the most difficult, exhausting, anxiety-causing, rewarding, fulfilling, and joyous thing I have ever experienced. Before you have kids everyone tells you what it’s going to be like. You think you know; you think you’re prepared, but you don’t really know and you aren’t really prepared until that day comes when they put that precious little baby in your arms and send you home! It’s true what they say: a baby changes everything.

In these first three months of mommyhood my weakness has been my attitude- especially  in the middle of the night when baby decides it’s time to wake up to eat (again) and I’m so exhausted I feel like I can’t put one foot in front of the other. If there’s one thing I’ve learned these past three months it’s that all the ugly in your heart comes pouring out in the middle of the night when you’re exhausted and cranky. And man, do I have some ugly!

About three weeks after Cason was born, I was upset and crying because he wasn’t on a good schedule (he loved being awake between about midnight and 3AM) and he wasn’t sleeping for long periods of time. I had just read a popular parenting book and it totally derailed me emotionally. I was trying to implement the principles of this book (which was supposed to be the magic solution) and it just wasn’t working, which of course made me feel like a loser mom. I was exhausted, hormonal, and frustrated. (Word to the wise- when you’re hormonal and sleep deprived, DO NOT read books that tell you how to parent!)  During this time I sought advice from another mommy friend who said to me, “God’s power is made perfect in your weakness.” At first I was like, “Ummm…..thanks?”  While it stuck in my brain, it didn’t exactly sink in. A few nights later that verse popped up in my devotion and the significance of it really hit me and I realized she did know what she was talking about after all. J I knew what I needed was a heart transformation so my attitude would improve, but heart transformations are hard and they usually take time. Our sin nature doesn’t just change overnight. So for the next few weeks this verse became my anthem. I committed it to memory and repeated it over and over when I felt myself becoming frustrated at whatever the situation was- when I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing as a mom, when I was super tired and not happy about waking up for a 3 AM feeding, when I experienced a parenting fail, or when I was irritated that my sweet husband could somehow sleep through the cacophony of a screaming baby- and that he even had the luxury of sleeping for more than two hours at a time!

Even though life has greatly improved from those first few weeks of no sleep, there are still new obstacles and challenges to overcome every day. And just when I think we have Cason on a good schedule and it’s smooth sailing, he throws us a little change and we have to adjust all over again. The bottom line is this: I can’t do any of this parenting stuff on my own. I can’t do the hard things (like waking up joyfully in the middle of the night for a feeding and a diaper change, or extending grace to my husband who is still sleeping because he has to get up and work in two hours)  in my own strength. These are my weaknesses and God’s grace is sufficient to keep me going and get me through. And when I can wake up with joy, extend grace to my sleeping husband and my crying son, and feel like I have it together as a mom (for that one second!), I know it’s not because of me, but because of God’s grace and His power that rescued me in my weakness. It’s in my weaknesses that Christ’s power is magnified; therefore, I will boast of my weaknesses in hopes that I can glorify the Lord, His power, and His workings in my life.

It’s the nights that I recognize my need for God’s power in my life and that I lean on that power to be made perfect in my weakness that I can go about my mommy duties with happiness and joy. And then I can look at the times I’m up with my son in the middle of the night (although they are, thankfully, occurring less and less) and be thankful for that sweet time with him to hold him, feed him, breathe his sweet baby smell, cuddle with him, and pray over him. All too soon these days will be over and the opportunities to spend this type of quality time with him will be gone forever.  

I’m thankful the Lord never leaves me where I am, but constantly uses even the most normal, mundane opportunities to teach me things about myself and about Him as He refines the areas in my life that need it. And by God’s grace, I will be able to complete the difficult tasks ahead of me with joy and with grace as I rest on his power to be made perfect in my many weaknesses.